Back in Session

Call it writer's block. Call it procrastination. I've been away for a long, long while. Well, now I'm back. Back in the USA, back in my MFA program and back to the novel.

Each day brings a new-if only tiny-revelation about the writing life. There are the constant ups and downs of the profession, the days in which I can't even seem to craft one sentence. There are always the younger-than-me, more of-the-moment authors publishing acclaimed debuts. But, a wise man (my father) once said, "You'll only lose time if you look behind you just to see if you're winning the race."

We know writing is hugely rewarding and fulfilling, yet fraught with disappointment. Impersonal rejection letters pile up in file cabinets. Self doubt doesn't creep in, it does cartwheels. Yet, we trudge on. The work is in us even when we don't know where it may lead.

It takes years to finish a novel, so I'm told by my favorite writing friends and professors, and once it's fully realized, it takes more time to see it in bookstores. So, why bother?

Rereading a James Salter essay yesterday, I came across this gem: "At one time I thought frequently about death. It was when I was barely thirty and said to myself, 'More than a third of your life is gone!' Now, for a different reason, I have started to think about it again...Sometimes I think, when the time comes, what I might want to have with me. I can go without an expensive watch, without money or clothes, without a toothbrush, without having shaved, but can I go without certain books and, more than books, things I have written, not necessarily published?"

Write on.